What Long Distance Taught Us About Choosing Each Other

Beginning a relationship, then leaving

We officially started dating on 4 September 2024 in Paris. Not long after that, Hadeeart travelled to Nigeria in October 2024 and did not return to the UK until April 2025. It was a strange way to begin a relationship we had waited so long to name: we had finally chosen each other, and then almost immediately had to learn how to be together while living apart.

At first, distance can make everything feel heightened. Every call matters. Every missed call feels louder than it should. Plans require more thought because you cannot simply decide to meet after work or spend an unplanned Saturday together. We had to learn the difference between wanting connection and intentionally creating it.

Distance removed convenience and left us with intention.

Love without the convenience of proximity

Long distance asked us to become clearer communicators. We could not rely on body language to repair a misunderstanding or on being in the same room to make a difficult conversation easier. We had to say what we meant, ask better questions and give each other the benefit of context when a day was busy or a message felt too short.

It also taught us that consistency is often more romantic than intensity. Grand gestures are beautiful, but relationships are built in the quieter pattern of showing up: checking in, making plans, remembering what the other person is carrying, and being present even when you cannot be physically close.

There were also seasons when the distance felt less like geography and more like waiting. We were both building careers, making decisions and moving through separate responsibilities. Loving each other meant respecting those responsibilities while still protecting the relationship we were trying to grow.

Closing the distance little by little

When Hammed came to the UK in September 2025 for his MBA, something shifted. After months of travel between countries and the constant calculations that come with living apart, it felt like we were finally getting a taste of ordinary life in the same place.

That season did not make every challenge disappear, but it gave us a new appreciation for the simple things: being able to make plans without a flight, having conversations that did not need to end because of a schedule, and feeling that the future we had discussed was becoming more practical.

Long distance is not the most glamorous part of our story, but it is one of the most formative. It taught us patience, communication and the discipline of choosing each other even when choosing each other required effort. As we move into marriage, those are lessons we want to keep, even when distance is no longer the thing testing them.